I watched it. Most awful IG animated thing ever. Oh God. An hour of my life I won't be getting back... but at least now I can say I have seen it, and it IS that bad. It belongs in obscurity. It belongs there. I spent the entire time wondering if the writers were on crack or high when they came up with it, and the other half silently going insane from how awful the animation is. It's SO BAD. Like I would be ashamed to have put this out... it feels like some fan-made thing of just... done on a home computer. And STORY... oh lord, wtf even? WTF. EVEN??? Please? Why? I cannot EVEN.
So I move on to other aspects. Which baffle me. Random characters. Scientist guy's name I could not recall... hitting on Penny. Is he her age? I think so, but... why? What is he even? It's like we're supposed to know, and we DON'T and CAN'T because he's RANDOM. And the mayor? With his frenzied fear of alien abduction and foil-lined pool? I agree with Quimby on the subject: the mayor's brain is on Uranus. And when did a mayor become a necessary thing? RANDOM AGAIN. He's just comic relief mixed with WHYYYYY? And Gadget has gadgets that make so little sense. Like dump truck arm? Whaaaaaa? And the talking car thing. Why is this a thing in all movies? Why? Why does the car need to talk? Please no. Just no. This is not Cars -- it is IG. Please. No.
And Claw has one arm. Always one arm. Never see the left arm. IS IT MISSING AT THE SHOULDER? Even when VIEWED from the left, we only see the right. In fact, we don't even see a shoulder. We normally see shoulders. Shoulders and arms are like the visible pieces, normally. He had two legs. We saw those. He had two feet. Saw them too. BUT HE HAD ONLY ONE ARM. :S Is it amputated? Did he lose it in the explosion to escape from his prison cell? No, must have been before that, because his escape plan picture depicted him with only one arm. And I laughed, because it was silly with only one arm AND THEN YOU NOTE HE DOES NOT EVER HAVE A LEFT ONE. It wasn't a lie, that plan paper. He has only ONE ARM. :S But his capture picture in the paper... I think it was his left hand handcuffed to Gadget. I think. In which case... did someone in prison cut it off? Shit. Did he get jumped in the prison yard? Shit. Maybe even fellow prisoners hate him and want him dead. Unless the paper showed his right. Maybe he was facing the wrong direction. Oh God. Do I need to revisit to confirm? Oh God. No. I'll say the newspaper flipped the picture (this happens sometimes) or he lost it to prison gang wars. Only one arm. I suddenly wonder WHY that was a thing. He had two arms everywhere else, in every other show. Even the live-action movie he only lost a hand, and that was the right one. WHY DID HE SUDDENLY LOSE HIS ENTIRE LEFT ARM? I... kind of want THAT story instead of what I did get, which was "Biggest Caper Ever".
Storyline... bad. Just... where do I even begin? I can't. The characters were all so static and weird and stiff. And the story was confusing when it wasn't just... drugged-out and WTF; I lost track of what was going on a couple of times. Voices weren't loud enough, and I had the volume way way up, and still missed stuff. And accents? Please don't. I can't understand as it is, and they threw in badly done accents. And the car. Claw's car. Penny says there are multiple 'Clawmobiles'. But when she spots what she says is his 'personal' Clawmobile, it's.... still not his? Like he's in his LoTR tower of doom and the car is... double-parked on the street in a random neighborhood. Where M.A.D. is having a block party on the lawn and surprised anyone noticed. And Gadgetmobile likes the way 'she' looks. Claw's car is female. WHY DID I NEED TO KNOW THIS? EVER? And the scientis guy, crying over his concert tickets. I missed why. Was there a why? WTF IS EVEN GOING ON? And Gadget. Goes to Claw's castle. SEES Claw. Recognizes Claw AS Claw. Yet takes a mysterious... explosive device?... from Claw and plugs it into his back. Because...? I don't know. He thinks it makes him juggle better and he can win a contest? Ok... :S And Gadget's head... keeps... falling off... WHY DOES IT DO THIS? Oh god.
Ok. I cannot even really do this awful mess any justice or even adequately explain it. Overall I get what it was aiming for, and can follow the very basic plot, but when you're watching it, it's more like a series of loosely connected WTF moments and you are left in a sort of shocked and weirded out horror at what you have just seen. Mesmerized by the horrid artwork and the way MOUTHS work and traumatized by Brain's EYES which will haunt you for the rest of the day, and then you notice there's a plot, and there's things happening, only Gadget's head just flew off and there's iguanas and a dinosaur eating metal to increase its size exponentially with no rhyme or reason for this happening. And then the Penny thing whines and you want to slap her and there's the crying scientist and there's NO LEFT ARM and eggs randomly alive after a million+ years with no explanation and it was under the prison the whole time and somehow untouched by the blast that made a crater of the prison and maybe THAT'S WHERE THE ARM WENT and now we want to hatch the egg despite reading that it's evil and awful and terrifying.
*brain short-circuit... please re-boot*
About the only part of the movie I enjoyed was Quimby. Quimby and his sarcasm and his insults veiled and not so veiled towards the guy. Quimby... you were my hero in this one. HOLD ME.